My Portland Story

The abbreviated version. You're welcome.

Hitler: still bad!

This photo was taken by an actual fascist. It was posted on Stormfront in 2012. There were attempts to identify the masked subjects but I’m not aware of any successes. I’ve taken the liberty of pointing myself out in the crowd.

It was taken at a conference of Neo-Nazis and Holocaust deniers. I knew most of the other members of our “direct action” group. Over a decade later, one or two of them still speak to me.

People are often surprised to learn I was “Antifa.” I’m pragmatic in my organizing; all about compromise and reform. I’m an outspoken anti-communist (which I think is a perfect pairing with anti-fascism). I no longer support anarchist organizations. I speak to politicians and police officers using my inside voice.

I’m a Zionist and (gasp) a Liberal. So what was I doing in a mask harassing white supremacists and why don’t I do it anymore?

Timeline

I moved to Portland in 2005. I went to PSU and made lefty friends. By 2012, I was blocing up to fight fascists. Occupy wasn’t the catalyst for my radicalization as it was for many of my peers. I was always a combative person. I don’t like antisemites and I don’t like bullies.

My family jokes that I’ve never seen a hill I didn’t want to die on, which isn’t true. There’s a small hill in Couch Park I’m currently trying to get rid of.

2012-2015

Protests, “direct actions,” and too much time on Twitter and Tumblr.

I identified as an anarchist, antifascist activist, and street medic. Whatever you’re imagining, it’s probably close enough.

I still had the combative steak. I got in trouble and angered local organizers during disagreements. I didn’t like the communist leanings of certain orgs or the obvious antisemitism (a feature of communism, not a bug).

I started to learn that several members of my “community” were bad people with “good” politics. They were often small minded, violent, and bigoted - only toward “acceptable” targets. They were bullies.

I was fine with Rose City Antifa and affiliated groups when they went after Neo-Nazis and fascists, but some members engaged in extracurricular activities. Using the skills they’d learned to target anyone who crossed them. Ex friends, lovers, housemates, coworkers. All were fair game.

The action leader of the photo above was run out of town when they learned he didn’t only like punching Nazis. He punched anyone who angered him, including girlfriends.

Portland’s radicals ran a lot of people out of town. As the banner says, “we protect us.” However, like all extralegal justice systems, it wasn’t equally applied. Popular organizers who built cults of personality were immune. Those of us who had outlived our usefulness were fair game.

That leads us to…

2015

I got cancelled. There was even a website dedicated to my misdeeds. So, what was I supposed to have done?

Everything. Honestly. I think I was accused of every social violation you can commit other than murder. Abusive, racist, sexist, fatphobic, whorephobic (an actual term), transphobic and homophobic (sorry to any trans people and/or dudes I dated at the time! I guess I was faking it?). I was a class-reductionist - that’s where you focus too much on lifting people out of poverty instead of just navel gazing about identity. I bullied people over veganism. I was cruel to anti-zionists. (guilty on that score).

I was banned from activist spaces as a small, dedicated group registered “public concerns” about my presence.

The wildest bit? I don’t really know the people who got the whole thing started. One of them was a total stranger. They’re still in Portland. They work for PSU or in social work. Some are union organizers. They care about keeping people safe. That’s why they harassed me for the next six years.

I told someone the entire story once and they replied that “no one could ever believe this. You’re just some random guy. Who would spend so much time and energy on you?” But that’s the thing. They did this to anyone who pissed them off. I wasn’t special. This was 2015. Radical Portland had ample free time and nothing immediate to rage against… yet.

2016

I made a new friend and started a podcast. Whiskey Sour Feelings Hour. We were considered “Woke and Essential” by the Portland Mercury.

https://www.portlandmercury.com/Arts/2017/03/01/18873652/geek-out-and-get-woke-with-these-essential-podcasts

In these tough times, I think it’s safe to say everyone has a lot of feelings, and perhaps... a mild drinking problem? That’s probably why Portland-based activist/writer/photographer Margaret Jacobsen has teamed up with writer and D&D nerd Max Steele for this feelings-centric comedy podcast in which they share drinks and have open conversations about culture and current events. The two don’t always see eye-to-eye in their intersectional discussions about everything under the sun (“Post-Post-Election Feelings,” “Kanye Feelings,” “White Men Feelings,” “Lesbian Space Feelings,” “Community Building Feelings”), but that’s part of what makes Whiskey Sour Feelings Hour so refreshing: They’re not afraid to be wrong. Let this show be a model for all of us as we try to manage important and complex conversations with those who think differently than us, and let it challenge our own convictions as we aim for mutual understanding.

-Jenni Moore

A model for how to have intersectional conversations! It was just Margaret and me arguing about culture and local nonsense. I wasn’t on my best behavior. I wasn’t “woke.” I was same guy who committed all those “isms” above. We got plenty of hate mail, but we also got private messages thanking us. Everyone was having these conversations behind closed doors, but we were having them out in the open. The podcast was a middle finger to Portland’s Radical Community and its toxic culture.

The excesses of the Progressive Movement helped push the country to a point where someone like Donald Trump was a contender for president. I thought we needed to jettison what wasn’t working and build a broad Liberal coalition back up. I thought Portland was finally sick of this performative, destructive nonsense and ready to focus on building again.

Then Trump won the election.

The brand of left-critical writing and commentary I engaged in became a cottage industry. Podcasts took off. Books became best-sellers. Everyone wanted to know where the left went wrong.

But not in Portland. I was out, and Resistance™ was in.

2017-2024 - The Dark Days

Portland lost its collective mind.

This was the age of The Resistance™. Progressives threw money and support at anything that felt “the opposite of Trump.”

My cohost, Margaret, staged a hostile takeover of The Portland Women’s March. It went well… until the money went missing.

Then came the private meetings over “what to do about Max.” I was problematic. Possibly conservative, even anti-black. I publicly disagreed with a black woman on a weekly basis after all. The very thing that made us popular was suddenly suspicious. Once I learned about these meetings, I ended the podcast and we haven’t spoken since.

They came for Margaret anyway. Cancelled - accused of a variety of real and imagined infractions. I withdrew from Portland politics and kept my head down.

You’ll remember what came next.

Trump, Antifa, Eudaly & Hardesty, Covid, George Floyd, BLM, Schmidt, 100+ Nights of Rage, Measure 110.

We got new signs of life in 2022. Portland began its slow lurch toward recovery. Michael Totten covered it in his article, Portland Sobers Up.

That takes us to now. What felt like the end of this failed period of overreaction. The “sobering up.”

I started to hope in 2023. Instead of leaving Portland, I decided to invest in my neighborhood. I helped start the Friends of Couch Park. I made a group of amazing friends and acquaintances. I started this silly newsletter in advance of our local elections.

The results were not what we hoped for. One third of the council will be DSA members. Half are likely proponents of failed policies that defined the Dark Days. Candace Avalos just announced her chief of staff - a former Eudaly advisor who changed her name to sound more like a Lord of the Rings character.

The Unions got us here. Progressive and Radical Portland got us here. We can move away (some are) or we can form a reasonable opposition. Not a Resistance™. We organize on our own terms. Liberal democratic terms. Common sense organizing, networking, and coalition building.

Let’s move past this Progressive era. Stop letting radicals define your identity and stop being afraid that you’ll be labelled a conservative for sticking to the values that made this city great.

The Future

For me, it looks like what I said last time. Finding the politicians I can work with and pushing my agenda. Finding people who share that agenda and connecting them.

I’m going to continue this newsletter. It will likely change over the next year. I want to leave the updates relatively short. Six minute read or less is the goal (except this one 😅). I’ll update you on happenings in NW Portland and point you to other sources for local news. Try out Devin’s Portland Stack. She’s an actual journalist and it shows.

I will not be adopting a code of journalist integrity. This is opinion and commentary. My lack of professionalism is my super power.

I’ll also be bringing the podcast back. That’s where the long form content will be. Interviews and discussions. Deep dives on topics that can’t be summed up in six minutes. I love what NW Fresh and Rational in Portland bring to Portland, but I think I can offer a different and complementary perspective.

The podcast doesn’t have a name yet. The newsletter doesn’t even have a name. I didn’t plan on getting this involved in local organizing ever again.

Some friends and readers requested I monetize, so I have. But I’m leaving these updates free for all subscribers.

A few years back I read “Unlocking the Commons” and was taken with the idea:

https://www.niemanlab.org/2019/01/unlocking-the-commons/

You can give me money if you want, but right now the only thing you get is my appreciation.

If you have a name suggestion for the podcast, or the newsletter, or want to be interviewed, let me know. If you don’t care and just want the occasional update, do nothing. They’ll keep appearing in your inbox.

You’ve all been great. Let’s keep building out networks of sane, rational liberals and allies. We are the majority of Portland because we are so diverse. We can disagree, we can be wrong. We can learn from mistakes and move forward because were aren’t held to a rigid set of beliefs. Now we just have to get more of us voting. We have to take back the institutions we love or build alternatives.

I’m having drinks with people almost every night this week to debrief and plan. More updates to come.

In 2026, we’re kicking Mitch to the curb and taking control of District 3. The next two years are going to be eventful. Remember we’re on this hill together, and I don’t like to give ground.